Please believe me... this is no fake news storyyyysshcwackyboomishkrrradio drama... ran here as soon as I heard the warning calls on the BBC... here in the neurotic centre of this great democracy and... sorry I mean neuralgic centre... I must confirm: the UK has been hit by an alien invasion on on on... hope the signal is still loud and clear... situation here is pure havoc... I’ll go on speaking... just in case... I’m not a Briton but gee I’m sorry they got hit so bad... they’re desperate... but their elite politicians are fighting bravelylyly... they promised, I quote, « to take back control of our money, borders, laws and trade. »

krsshcwackyboomishkrrriiiithank God they kept their cool... apart from a bad fit of Ukip hiccups... it’s making their bones shake and rattle... side effect of the booze they drink to scare the fright away. They stand it like a man... I mean like a person... they could have attacked Russiahaha... wiped it out with a couple dozen A-bombs... they haven’t... so far... no fancy poison has been detected... so far... the MI5 pinpointed the peril: aliens... I repeat: aliens, Martians probably... disguised as Muslims... the women aliens wear a krshckyboo

• Heard that Paul? How can they tell which is which?

• By the colour of their skin silly! Didn’t you read the posters? If you beat them up a little just so they stay put, then rub them real rough, their brown skin turns into a disgusting green leather.

 Waowaowaowaowhat if it happened to us... back home in Europoomishkrrriiiiwooo...

Waowaowaowaowhat if the aliens invaded us too? Are we safe fromiiishkkof course not! I hope you’re still hearing me... we must take back control of our money, borders, laws and trade... c’mon guys, let’s dig a Channel around each and every country in Europe... the aliens can’t swim... or else why should they drown off the shores of Italyalyalyaly

For FbFk News sssssssssssssshhh

Jean Santilli lillillillillillilli

broadcasting live from Westminster on 11/15, 2018, House of Commons at Prime Minister’s Questions Time... I hope you hear me... I’m in a pit-hole... dug behind one of those disgusting green leather benches... safe enough but I don’t know how long yeeaaak

 

• Paul?... Did he say disgusting green leather?
• Goodness gracious me... The aliens are taking their revenge!

 

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The House of Commons Chamber, as it appeared after damage during the Second World War and before the 2016-2018 alien invasion. (Photo www.parliament.uk)

 

Copyright 2018 Jean Santilli, who strongly suggests to download this and other reportages at https://independent.academia.edu/JeanSantilli and circulate them before the end of the brave new world, due March 29th, 2019.